While working on filling in the NTR route script today and talking to TD (Pale Carnations Developer) and Daemon Blackfyre on Discord, it came to my mind that I needed to do a few additional passes through the dialogue after finishing it.

So with the end of year deadline, I should hope to finish the initial scripting of the NTR version of the scene this week or the next to have an initial version from which to polish the script.

So the additional passes are:

• Make a separate pass to analyze the emotional state transitions as per Abbie Emmons. This is like analyzing the script’s various characters’ emotional states and making sure that the transitions between them are natural and flow from one state to the next, instead of being jagged or too rough, moving from one extreme to another without a proper level of transition, which can be done by actually justifying the emotional state of every line of dialogue.
• Make a separate pass from the perspective of the first time player. This needs to be done, as the game, due to its NTR elements needs to potentially have a lighter touch at certain moments. This scene has the unenviable task, I think, of being one where I want NTR players to be able to fap to it, but it’s kind of written more from a netori perspective (i.e. in the perspective of one of the antagonists). However, in NTR games, one underlying principle is to have the NTR action motivate the player to seek to make the best decision, while at the same time tickling the emotions of sorrow, regret, sympathy, and pity towards those that are suffering. So it should also hit the emotional beats of sadness, frustration, loss for the vanilla players.
• Make a separate pass so that Alexis, as the victim, hits the five stages of grief in her attempt to deal with what is transpiring. She needs to face denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Potentially, the acceptance portion may be tiered, and her grief may be similar to multiple waves battering a beach. This is because she may have to deal with the grief of Dummy’s death, the the grief of the act itself, and then finally, grief with the consequences of the act.

So this event may be one of the darkest for Alexis in the first Act of the game.